I was one of the first people within my circle of friends/fellow students to have a Facebook account...that was in 2008, if I`m not mistaken. I made an account out of pure curiosity, having read about it in the news. Back then there were about 20 people in my network. I went to FB whenever I felt bored with the technical stuff I was writing while trying to earn my Ph.D.
FB had a different layout and lots of apps. I did silly stuff such as exchanging egg gifts (the ones that "hatch" after a number days to show your secret gift from your friend), taking care of a virtual pet (I had a little yellow chick, forgot it`s name) and my favorite, playing Panty Raid with a bunch of girls in the network.
It was all harmless fun for me.
Fast-forward to 2011. I have about 300 people in my network, of varying degrees of closeness/separation from me. I open my account, and I also feel varying degrees of elation, excitement, annoyance, disgust upon reading their feeds...I honestly feel happy when I read about somebody fulfilling a life-long dream like getting a dream job, having a baby, finishing a degree, getting a much-deserved vacation, etc. But more of the latter reactions, actually. ("ok, so you`re on a luxury trip abroad again, enjoying blah-blah-blah, with your blah-blah-blah." "yeah, you have the cutest kid/husband/wife/pet in the world, you`ve posted it a million times...shut up already!" "my goodness i can`t believe she`s posting about her bowel movement"). And when I`m on bitch mode, I have to remind myself that: 1. it`s my fault, I kept on adding people I care little about...2. I`m a sour-graping, envious hag with no life, who should just be doing something else worthwhile and 3. I`m just as guilty of "flaunting" whatever good/great is happening to me, to make my life less ordinary...
And so, unlike before, FB has bugged me.
FB has increased my connection with friends/past associates/neighbors/family...but it did not really make me closer to anyone of them. It`s just like having a virtual rolodex where your contacts can show you (what they want to show) about their lives, but it will always be you who has the option to pick on these little snippets that they show, or let them roll by. The open nature of all the information coming in from people I guess is too stressful for a sensitive, closeted anti-social like me. There are just some stuff there that I wish I didn`t see.
I fear a world where friendships will be designed and destroyed by the way people interact (and choose not to react) to FB posts. These days, I open my FB account, have a quick glance of the wall posts, make a comment or two on interesting posts, and sometimes post something that really caught my eye for the day. I try to contact friends not only through FB but also email and IM, SMS, and plain old yummy conversations.
I`d like to believe that with a little more self-control I`ll get over my own failings as a sucker for FB, and remind myself that, maybe the stuff I read there is real...but is nonetheless, all for show.
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